So, What IS the Point?
by Sandy Lamparello
It happened again today:
"That must be so hard!"
"Well, actually it's not really, I guess I'm just used to it."
"Yeah, but when do you see him?"
"So what's the point?"
"When was the last time you saw him?"
"Did you cry when he left?"
"No, and I still haven't. I never cry about being separated from him."
"Then you must not really love him."
How many times do we have these conversations? How many times do we feel
like screaming and tearing our hair out?? I laughed at my sister a month
ago, when she told me she broke up with a guy because he "lived 1/2 hour
away and it was too hard to make plans to see him." Maybe that was cruel of
me. Not everyone is cut out to date a military man. Think about all the
"traditional" relationship things--togetherness, closeness, regular
contact, doing things together, dropping everything at a moment's notice to
go be with him or having him do that for you. Sure, we are close to our men
in heart and mind, but as for the rest of them, we don't have that. Sure, I
would drop everything, end this email right now, if my Marine called and
needed me. But if I needed him right now, he wouldn't be able to come here,
no matter how badly he would want to.
So, why, then?
Because there is only one person for each of us and if it's a military man
we can't say no?
Maybe.... Because we are gluttons for punishment??
Perhaps.... How wonderful would it be to be in their arms every night? But
how would any of us feel in the arms of someone who didn't stand for
anything? How excited do we all get when we know we are soon to see our men?
Personally, I never want that feeling to go away, no matter HOW long it's
been since I've seen him. I want to be old and grey and thrilled at the
prospect that he is coming inside from getting the paper off of the driveway.
It's that look in his eyes--the look we fight so hard to seal in our
memories, so we can bring it back during the tough times. It's knowing that I
sleep safe tonight because these men (and lots of women too) are willing to
give their lives for me. It's knowing that, no matter where in the world he
is, there is some point where he turns over at night and smiles at the
thought of my smile.
I would rather have one visit every 6 months, one phone call a week, one
chance to look in his eyes, than a lifetime spent with the wrong person by
my side 24/7. I always joke that my heart is in Beaufort or wherever he is,
but it's true. He takes that with him wherever he goes, and THAT is the
-- Sandy Lamparello