Poetry Stories, Opinions, and Thoughts

A Feeling like this...


A Feeling like this… Always Wondering!
This is for my baby, Greg!  I love you so much! 


I always knew it would be hard, but I never knew it would be quite like this.

Days go by slower and slower, as the nights seem to get longer and longer; and I wonder where you are.

Are you safe?  Are you alone?  Are you in good health?  Are you scared?  Are you worried?  What all is on your mind?  There are just so many questions to ask the list just goes on and on, it never seems to get shorter; and I never seem to have the time.

There's no way for me to explain how I feel… all I can say is worry.  That is all I seem to do these days.  What you are out there doing is so heroic in my eyes, but all I do is worry about you and hope you come home soon.  While I sit here and think my heart starts to worry there are so many questions I need to ask I can't ask them all at once in such a hurry.  So, I sit and wait 'til that time has come when my phone rings and you're the one.  

I e-mailed you just the other day, which goes along with the e-mails I send you just about everyday.  I just wanted to see how you were doing, to tell you "I love you", and tell you about my day.  I wait for your letters, e-mails, and calls… but all is in all it seems so long since we've talked.
 
Finally, the day has come when my phone rings and it's you my love, what a delight it is to hear your voice.  How I have longed so just to hear you say you love me.  That is just want you do.   You whisper softly, "Babygirl, I love you!"  We only can talk a little bit longer; you tell me you are doing ok which makes me stronger.  I still can't believe you are out fighting this war, but you're doing what you love so what else can I say but I am here to support you one hundred-ten percent of the way.  I tell you, "I miss you" and you miss me too.  It's just so weird that I don't get to talk to you like I used to.  I'm counting down the days until you come home; as I think about it more and more the tears start to fall.  "I love you babygirl" you say once again, I tell you "I love you more, the mostest… and I know you grin.  You giggle and sigh because you know it ain't true; you seem as sad as me and what to come home too. 

Months go by… there's more months to come the silence hurts me as I wait for you to come home.  While I know you are out doing what you love to do; I still have many things on my mind about you as my day goes on through.  I am so proud of you baby, for what it is you do.  You are out there fighting this battle wanting to win, although at the same time your life could end.  That is a chance you are willing to take as am I, because I know you are fulfilling your dreams which make mine.

I always knew it would be hard, but never knew it would be quiet like this.

Days go by slower and slower, as the nights seem to get longer and longer; and wondering where you are is on my mind, but you know that is the price one pays when being an… ARMY WIFE! 

I love you baby! I'm always here, will never leave.  Please be safe and come home soon, because it's you that I long to be with my whole life through.  My dreams are coming true more each day that I'm with you.

This was written by me, Kayla Renee Chesser on 14 of August 2007 the day that my baby went out to do what he loves most in this world.  I am so proud of him and although I ain't an army wife just yet (lol) all army wives, girlfriends, fiances' and so forth all go through this one feeling when there soldier deploys and when writtin' this it just fit to put army wife at the end.  I love you baby, I am so proud of you!  Please be safe come home soon!  I love you!!!
 
Kayla Renee Chesser

240 more days to go

I don't think I could ever explain what it's like to be an army wife.  No matter how many examples or stories I tell you'd never understand unless you were one.  You won't understand what it's like to wake up alone everyday only to make yourself believe that he's only at work on the other side of post and he'll be back home later.  Then dinner time arrives and you have to face the cold reality that he's not coming home tonight.  So then you pretend he's only out in the "field" down range and he'll be back in two weeks or so.  Two weeks later, nope, not here yet.  All the while it's hard to forget where he's at since your two and a half year old yells "Dabby in Iraq" on an hourly basis.  It's only been three days since you talked with him last on yahoo messenger, (compared to the last deployment when you went one month at a time from hearing from him) but the last time you talked with him, he got so mad at you and signed off.  Now you hope it's not the last time you'll get to talk to
him cause you couldn't live the rest of you're life knowing that the last time you got to speak to your love you got in a fight and he left angry.  Another wive told me that they only give casuality notifications between 0600 and 1200, that I'm not sure of but between those times every single day I hide in my house praying the doorbell or the phone won't ring.  What would I do if it did?  I've made my decision that I couldn't go on.  Last time I got the phone call around 1030 on a Saturday morning that he was hurt, so now every day around 1030 I get so nervous that I want to throw up.  I'm all alone here with three kids that I have to hide from every time I cry.  The youngest one had his first birthday and is walking and his daddy is missing out.  The oldest will have his kindergarten graduation and daddy will miss out.  I will finally graduate from college and my love will miss out.  Living on an army post doesn't help either.  Every where you go, commissary, px, shoppette, there
are women walking hand in hand with their soldier that just got back.  Makes me envious and angry but yet sad and heart broken.  Next time you get to hug, kiss or just be in the same room as your husband, boyfriend, or whatever, be greatful that someone else is out there fighting for themso that they don't have to leave you.  (Ugh...which reminds me that they should soooo start up the draft)  But it's okay, only 5 more months to go, but no, stupid government and their deployment extensions now there's 8 more months to go.  Three extra months of missing out on family memories, 90 more days of missions, shootings, bombings, attacks on the camp, 2160 extra hours of pacing the floor and wishing on stars that today will be the day he calls or gets online, but praying that today is NOT the day that there will be a knock on the door. I don't want anymore "thanks for your husband's service" (by the way, what about MY service too?!), I don't want anymore tax free combat pay, I don't want
anymore 10% off military discounts, I don't want anymore FRG meetings, I don't want anymore Presidential vetos or political games, I just want my husband home.  But again, I pick myself up and finish my day to go to bed alone with my thoughts scrambling, because tomorrows another day and there's 240 more days to go.

Caught Between Iraq & A Hard Place!

Caught Between Iraq & A Hard Place!
 

A soldier's lamentation:

We were told by our commanders that anytime soon we would be expected to invade Afghanistan. When that decision was taken we left in high spirits, because we thought we had it all figured out. The terrorist bases in that country will be our target, and we would spare no one from our wrath. After all, the World Trade Towers, and thousands of Americans paid the ultimate price, without even knowing it at the time. So we took care of that problem, sort of. But remained vigilant, should the Taliban raise it's ugly head again in that country. We would crush it once more into submission.

Then we were told that Sadam has weapons of mass destruction, and posed a threat to US interests in that region, and the political and economic stability in that region was at stake. So into Iraq we went, with blazing saddles, metal and iron horses that spewed fire in every direction. And in no time, we were in Bhagdad!  Somewhat disappointing to us though, after being told of the ferrousity that was awaiting us back there.  Eventually, Sadaam's regime crumbled, his military forces dissipated, or went underground, and we shouted victory!

Today however, we are still trying to consolidate that victory in Iraq. With hundreds dying daily among us, civilian casualties in the thousands, and rising daily. And an ethnic and religious civil war that was just waiting to erupt, before we came into Iraq. I am now left with the question, was it worth the lives lost, the limbs lost, the pain of families, friends, and love ones who are reeling from this madness in Iraq and Afghanistan?

Politicians make the decision to go to war. But it is us the soldiers on the ground, who pays with his life and limbs, to make this scenario possible. And I still cannot see the reason for all of this death and dying any longer. I want out badly, but I cannot say it out loud, because my buddies will not like it, even though many of them feel the same way too.

Our pledge of allegiance, our belief in the values of Freedom & Liberty, under democracy, is what we have to hold on to in these perilous times.

But I still want out!

But is caught in Iraq & A Hard Place!

Om Shanti.

Derryck S. Griffith.

A soldier's lamentation:

Caught Between Iraq & A Hard Place!
 
A soldier's lamentation:
We were told by our commanders that anytime soon we would be expected to invade Afghanistan.
When that decision was taken we left in high spirits, because we thought we had it all figured out.
The terrorist bases in that country will be our target, and we would spare no one from our wrath.
After all, the World Trade Towers, and thousands of Americans paid the ultimate price, without even knowing it at the time.
So we took care of that problem, sort of. But remained vigilant, should the Taliban raise it's ugly head again in that country.
We would crush it once more into submission.
Then we were told that Sadam has weapons of mass destruction, and posed a threat to US interests in that region, and the political and economic stability in that region was at stake.
So into Iraq we went, with blazing saddles, metal and iron horses that spewed fire in every direction. And in no time, we were in Bhagdad!
Somewhat disappointing to us though, after being told of the ferrousity that was awaiting us back there.
Eventually, Sadaam's regime crumbled, his military forces dissipated, or went underground, and we shouted victory!
Today however, we are still trying to consolidate that victory in Iraq. With hundreds dying daily among us, civilian casualties in the thousands, and rising daily. And an ethnic and religious civil war that was just waiting to erupt, before we came into Iraq.
I am now left with the question, was it worth the lives lost, the limbs lost, the pain of families, friends, and love ones who are reeling from this madness in Iraq and Afghanistan?
Politicians make the decision to go to war. But it is us the soldiers on the ground, who pays with his life and limbs, to make this scenario possible. And I still cannot see the reason for all of this death and dying any longer.
I want out badly, but I cannot say it out loud, because my buddies will not like it, even though many of them feel the same way too. Our pledge of allegiance, our belief in the values of Freedom & Liberty, under democracy, is what we have to hold on to in these perilous times.
But I still want out!
But is caught in Iraq & A Hard Place!
Om Shanti.
Derryck S. Griffith.
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